Oh God! Give me another shot at it!!

cycle # 1,308,738 aborted

*************** GodWare v 1.43****************

starting cycle # 1,308,739
reset time = 0; unit = year
reset subject memory
set objective = maintain contact with object till 09:00:00
simulating (time = 0; time++; time = 21)
stop simulation @ time = 21;
reset control to subject
switch mode to real life
recording (........start log

08:53:28 Subject buzzed on yahoo. Wakes up
08:54:02 Turns on monitor
08:54:18 Checks mail
08:54:42 Searches for watch
08:54:53 Gasps at the time
08:55:27 Puts on pants
08:55:44 Runs to exam
08:57:31 Subject enters contact zone
08:57:49 Object sights subject
08:57:55 Subject sights object and gasps again
08:58:14 Object initiates conversation

08:58:14 Begin voice recording

Object: I ... I ... I need you to do something.
Subject: Uh .. umm .. yeh .. yeah, sure.
Object: We have just about 3 hours to do it.
Subject (inception of hormonal changes): (:O)... Oh ... er ... What do I ... we have to do?
Object: We have to (......bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

08:59:01 Signal error
08:59:02 Audio signal lost
08:59:35 Signal found. Resuming voice recording.

Subject: I ... I cant. You see I ... uh ... have an exam at 9.00 and I'm already late. I have to go. Any other time and I would be your man.

08:59:42 Ending voice recording

08:59:45 Subject starts running to exam
09:00:05 Subject stumbles into exam hall. Finds it empty. Gasps again.
09:00:39 Meets Prof

09:00:47 Begin voice recording

Subject (panting): Sir, the exam ...
Prof: Are you in my course?
Subject: Yes, sir.
Prof: I told everyone in class. Exam is at 1.00pm. Its an M.Tech course.
Subject: (:O) ... oh

09:01:25 Ending voice recording

09:01:56 Runs back and reaches contact zone.
09:02:05 Sights object holding hands and walking away with third party.

subject failed to meet objective

09:02:10 Gasps again. Prays to God for another chance.

subject requesting retry
subject requesting retry
subject requesting retry
request granted
aborting cycle..........
cycle # 1,308,739 aborted

***********GodWare v 1.43*************

starting cycle # 1,308,740

Life after CAT

Its all done. The bubbles have been darkened. The mocks have been mocked at. The "keys" dont match. The verdict is out. The studs are studs and there are no gate-crashers!! 19 forgettable Sundays have been consigned to history. Life has moved on to ..... hmm ..... end sems.

Lake OAT!!

Click to enlarge :) ... Images courtesy rapdas

Weather Update -- 1830hrs Nov11, 2005

Spot the depression(s)!!!

 

42 things to do when you should be muggin for CAT

Why 42?
Well thats the ultimate answer to ......... refer Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy :D

And why CAT?
Havent figured that one yet!!!! ... But I think the answer lies in elimination.

Lets start off then.....Things you could emulate (not necessarily in the same order :D)

1. For one, posting arbitly tryin to fill up ur empty blog :P

2. Of course that entails readin arbit posts too :D

3. Put nite-outs readin novels from 1am when net doesnt work

4. Clean your room, which hasnt seen a broom since........???........

5. Crash for 14 hr days

6. When you aint crashin, ly down on the bed counting the number of insects swallowed by the lizard behind the tubelight :D

7. Go to Gurunath, spend 30 mins on a coffee

8. Before that spend an hour persuading all those lazy bastards in the wing to come with you!!

9. Go back to point #7 :D

10. Just in case you wake up early in the morning, go swimming. That'll freeze you up for the rest of the day!!

11. In case theres no power, play snake on ur 1100 till u r sure ur thumbs are twisted and u cant solve those CAT q's

12. Watch Dhoni beat the shit out of the Lankans

13. Then watch the pathetic Mr.Charu Sharma & Co. fillin in the time with Fourth Umpire :D

14. Dont miss the second innings!!!

15. How can I forget DC++ and all those movies!!

16. Use your T.I.M.E material as toilet paper

17. In case you find the quality below standard, donate the whole set to despo juniors who wanna mug an year in advance.

18. And if you are enterprising, you could sell it to a dumbfuck and treat yourself in Residency Towers :)

19. Read all those stupid chat transcripts in rediff about how to "bell the cat".

20. Think about Lehman Brothers and imagine how well you fit into their plans :P

21. Wait for the next cyclone and walk to the Gate (Mandak might be a better bet tho!!)

22. Go to app meetings and enjoy the ruckus (havent tried this one but ppl tell me its hilarious!!)

23. If you cant make it to these meets join an app mail group and watch junta screw each other (this i have done!!)

24. Nows the time to go to classes and make sure you dont put Ws

25. Read mails from Tam gumbal and if thats not nauseating enough, start contributing to it!!!!

26. Live next room to Torso and Bondy (no offence guys, i love it :D)

27. Mug for end-sems 2 weeks in advance (nice try, eh??)

28. Stare at that timeless wallpaper of Monica Belluci wearing..........uh umm.........

29. If your name is Torso go to Tarams*, suck up to Malathy for the reco you might not need, go back to point # 7, go to Shakti* (or Lakshmi*), go to Bulbs room and watch 100MB tam movies in quick succession, ask for a call taxi (Madhukar who else!!) and go to hot chips for a kaapi and get stuck in quicksand on the way back and if you still have time left, go to Nilambar's room (u r welcome!!) and park there :)

30. If your name is not Torso, go with him!!!!

31. Think about all those IITians in 7 IITs (placements havent begun) and are puttin despo for CAT. That should make you give up already!!!

32. Go to all the PPTs (Why??? ... coz nobody gonna pain you for crashing, there's atttendance for PPTs and there's grub!!)

33. Think about how an MBA after work-ex will add value :D

34. If you are a localite like me, go home and get your clothes washed for once!!!

35. If you aint a localite feel free to wash them yourself instead of giving it to the "Laaandrrreeee Peepaal" who keep "coming" all the time :))

36. If you are apping as well, try writing your SOP and then spread rumors about how low you are apping to RG junta and be at the receiving end of points #22 & #23!!!!!!

37. Open you smail account which has been lying idle for years and read all the spam mails about who lost his calc and which chooth freshie doesnt have a partner for ID assignment!!!

38. Reply to all those bastards who spammed you!!!

39. Go along with Thomas to learn French at Alliance Francaise (Have been invited to join him but havent gone yet coz I still havent exhausted all my options till point #38!!!!)

40.

41. Kill T.I.M.E trying to think what happened to point #40.

42. If you are still searching for an excuse..........Go do your BTP*!!!!!!!

So keep at it my merry men and jus dont forget to write those Mockcats every Sunday (oh!! theres just one left) to keep you occupied :)



*'s explained in the order of their appearance :D
1. Tarams --- Cheap Lounge in the swamps
2&3. Shakti & Lakshmi --- country wineshops
4. BTP --- B.Tech Term Project tho some say its plain B.Tech Project (if u r a final yr IITian and dint get that u r in deep shit!!!!!!)

Shantaram

GDR aka Shantaram!!

Spoiler warning: Tresspassers cannot complain :D

Btw, this definitely aint a review!! This is at best a haphazard summary and I cant contemplate what it might be at its worst :P So ill leave the reviewing to the critics :)

Shantaram and an Australian convict. You must be thinking - Whats the connect??? In this case it’s one and the same guy!! An Aussie who can speak Hindi and Marathi. He lives in a Mumbai slum and sets up a clinic right there. He gets sucked up into the intricate plan of a desi Don Corleone who talks about God and the Big Bang and the ways of a "moral" don. “Do the wrong things for the right reasons”, he says. Suits me fine ;) I just got to find the reasons now.

He manages the black money, smuggling and passport forgery rackets of the most powerful don in town. He falls in love with a Swiss girl of whom he knows precious little, who he later realizes is as tough a survivor as he is. He saves a high society call gal by posing as an embassy official and turns her into a business woman. He saves a slum from cholera epidemic. Smokes opium in the dens of the standing babas who have taken a vow to always stand till they die!! He even goes through the cold turkey off heroin.

The most impressive thing is the kind of people he hangs out with. A local tout, a gay French conman, a journalist, the don, a Spanish killer, an Iranian mercenary, an Afghan exile, a German prostitute, a couple of Nigerians with a talent for making bodies disappear (which skill he uses to good effect). The list is simply endless. The irony is his friend’s mom names him - a hardened criminal - Shantaram, man of the god of peace!!

There is the danger of him being an unreliable narrator like the guy in the movie memento but I don’t think so. The book is a fictionalized version of his life but even if only half of what he wrote were true then he could be survivor of the century. Even writing the book wasn’t easy. He wrote it (it is a 1000 page behemoth) 3 times in prison coz it was trashed the first 2 times!!

He puts fundaes on everything from how to resist torture to emergency medical procedures to hand-to-hand street-fighting. There is of course his trip to Afghanistan to fight the Soviets alongside the mujahideen. There lots of comic moments including one in which he smuggles a bear out of Mumbai by disguising it as a huge Ganesha idol and publicly transporting it on a cart!! He finds time to get involved in Bollywood and learns how to bathe wearing over-underpants in a Marathi village!! This is Mumbai as it has never been seen before in fiction. Everything has a price and can be bought. There is sleaze everywhere and it starts right up there with politicians, film stars and dons in 5 star hotel suites. Ironically the only clean people are his friends in the slum who refuse to join him in his dirty work.

But on a more serious note, this book is all about giving oneself second, third, fourth and nth chances at life. It’s about forgiveness and friendship in a ruthless world. They do forsake him for their immediate benefits sometimes but they never let him so far off that he’ll die. His only motivation seems to be to redeem himself for every crime he has committed but his loyalty to his friends only makes him commit an increasing number of them. He gets bruised and battered and escapes through the skin of his teeth numerous times. And living in a dangerous world an increasing number of his friends keep dying out. He finds a father in the Don and is fiercely loyal to him. He goes to Afghanistan to fight his war.

Throughout the book the torture, the adventure, the trafficking, the killing, the sheer amounts of cash flow and the dirty life of Mumbai does make for engrossing reading. But what makes the book standout is how the guy presents his relationships to the people he loves or knows and how they change as he finds his place in their world. He is willing to die for others and he finds his friends willing to die for him. And he finds that money alone does not explain this fact. He learns there are no good people or bad people, just good deeds and bad deeds. This book is about the ultimate reality show, the toughest survivor challenge a man could come up against. Of course he makes a ton of money too :D

Shantaram – Interested in everything, committed to nothing. (not my original line :D)

So does he redeem himself? Find out for yourself. I finished it in 2 sittings, not bad for a thousand page adventure :) The author (Gregory David Roberts aka Shantaram) is living in Australia these days after going back and serving the remainder of his sentence. This book is currently a bestseller in Australia and India holding its own against Vikram Seth and Salman Rushdie and I can see why. He was an anarchist bank robber and a junkie after his divorce there early in life but that is the subject of another book!!

And for those of you who cant stand books theres Shantaram the movie coming out soon with Johnny Depp playing the lead. Check out this semi-review and interview with GDR. And also this article on the bad boy of fiction when he was in Mumbai at his favourite haunt.